Trying To Find Our Way: August 2015

I'm not really convinced that this pregnancy has made me forget things but more likely that it has made me ponder things until I'm blue in the face. One of the biggest questions I have been tossing around is

P.s. Try to stick with me I feel like this blog post has been a long time coming and I have so much to pour out! I'll get back to this picture soon!

Casey and I as you all know have lived in our bus for just shy of a year yet aren't "content" with the area. I love the bus, I love the changes the bus has brought to our family, I loved watching my husband build things and seeing us learn new things. Things I never thought we would know how to do; solar, composting toilet, pallet walls, water pumps and living without electric and refrigeration for over six months. Things have not been easy but have been well worth the time nonetheless! We are ready for a new adventure as many would say but were just looking for a place that is more on our level and mindset.

Okay lets start with why we want to move and are feeling discontent in our current area; over all it is nearly impossible to grow things on our land for instance our neighbor has been giving it a go for over thirty years and has a stunning flower garden with amazing trees but hardly grows any food to be sustainable. Did I mention that she uses 1000 gallons of water for the garden multiple times a week? You do recall that we haul and pump water from a local well right??? This is just so labor intensive and costly in the end that I just couldn't bring myself to start. Haha I also forgot the Jack rabbits eat literally everything so you need to create something shy of a jail to protest your growth!

Next would come the complete lack of green stuff and lakes! I mean I know right...I'm in Arizona I should have expected this. I guess I didn't calculate how much it would really affect me. Casey is much better off in this aspect since he grow up just south of here. It would be dumb of me not to mention the fact that Flagstaff has a major identity crisis or so I think so!

The community doesn't want the college kids they think their town is a tourist place. The college kids are from everywhere spending money in places such as bars and Target which is great I guess if your still into partying and meeting people in that mindset. Oh and nearly dying everytime you get on the road cause no one knows how to drive or where they are! Yet the city lacks any sort of concept of fixing Route 66 which has pretty much become the slum and instead they invest in huge hotels and chain stores. It is weird. Not really walkable unless your in the small downtown area and overall there is just such a disconnect of people who actually live there. I haven't met a single person (non co-worker related) in Flagstaff besides my immediate neighbors (Candy that includes you) which is really odd but don't get me wrong I haven't tried that hard.

Anyway, to end that rant we know were not meant to live our lives here.

I will chalk this up to being a great experience, helping us find who we are and want to be as a couple and a family. Does this next move fall under the category of discontent or wanting adventure? This has been the big question. Does it really matter maybe not but do I wonder if we will feel this way again and want something more, something different. Possibly. We need to find that place, the one you just know is home.

I have been asked about our plans many times over the last few weeks during my travels and this is what I know.

We will be in Arizona until the school year finishes during that time we will continue to explore the endless options we have ahead of ourselves. We will pay off debt and prepare for yet another move with a toddler and this time adding a baby. We will keep looking for a place that has green grass (the type you mow), trees that tower over homes and streets, water in abundance or at least enough to swim/fish/kayak in, we will look for a place that has a family friendly community, progressive in their thinking on parenting, full of life and ideas in general. A true sense of community.

Another question that has been asked many times is if we have we figured out how much land we want or if we will move back to the city?

I must admit during my travels some city exploring was done; whether it was a simple walk to a restaurant while checking out local urban gardens or a full on city tour in the car with many stops it took me back to a thought Casey and I have thrown around many times...

Of course we want to achieve a some what sustainable life but does that mean we need cows, goats, pigs etc. or would a decent size yard with backyard chickens, vertical gardening and local farmers market make the cut? I really do miss some of the conveniences I once had in San Diego such as walking to dinner or just to grab a craft beer, exploring new stores even to just window shop, meeting a friend for coffee and chasing Jack around the park. I miss that community that I had with my close friends many of which know the struggle that has been in place over the last month or so making the choice of selling the bus and setting roots in an unknown spot come Spring.

When we made the choice to try to buy a home in Texas our wish list was quite long:

Two stories, acreage, 1500sq ft+, close to Texas state, fenced yard for dogs, character in a home (which I'm telling you wasn't easy in the area we were looking) and just the idea that Jack would be safe to run around outside and I would be safe to walk down the road. I'm positive there was more but I can't remember. Of course the idea of living in a bus and off-grid was a different mindset but still we thought we had found most of those needs at our land but we missed or overlooked some key components when things fell through with the house; mainly the idea of green space and the how different how lives would be from the city.

Coming back full circle okay lets just admit I'm not going to get there in this post but half way back to my first picture!

"Are we always discontent or just craving adventure?"

As I was driving down the freeway on my 5,000 mile adventure(round trip) I remember thinking many things but all were set off by the simplest of them all the smell of fresh cut grass. This amazing scent happened to appear on the West side of Oklahoma state; it was wild things were getting greener! I saw people mowing, trees swaying in the wind and farmers watering corn taller than myself, hay fields abundant with freshly cut hay and ponds everywhere it was a start of what i'd been craving! As I made my way up to the midwest I passed through one of my favorite cities at night (Minneapolis)which I later stopped at on my way home to explore more as I have done over the years but I remember getting out at red box and breathing in the crisp air (Skye you know we did this last time at the gas station too hahaha) as I pulled into Rhinelander my home town I had finally thought after 5+ years of living away that it was BEAUTIFUL! The trees that had once just lined the roads now towered them, the rivers and lakes were so full (fuller than I had remembered since being a child) and rain was falling for days, a few trees were starting to change color and I remember thinking "I miss the seasons..not really winter but just the changes and what comes with them; flowers, birds, wildlife, swimming, fishing, hunting, chores the list could go on forever!". It was really this weird thing being home and having that mindset of the Northwoods actually being special something to cherish and when speaking to a good friend who was home during the same time she commented on the exact same thing and she too said "Is it because I have found myself? Is it because were older and have families?" I don't know why such the change maybe because we live in the South/Southwest were beauty is something so different then what we grew up with. Anyway it was refreshing but made me wonder the same questions I had been for months.

I have yet to reach an answer to them; whether we need a lot of land or whether these feelings are discontent or adventure but either way they will work themselves out and come to light over the next year or so I'm sure.

This leads me to my closing paragraph we have some cities in mind as well as areas in general.

Maine (coastal)

Tennessee (Nashville area)

Kentucky

North Carolina

The east coast in general

Oregon (southern can't handle to much gloom)

Minneapolis

(maybe if I can get my husband to consider a winter)

and many other places that are not listed. If you know someone in or by one of these areas or just someone who truly loves where they are (with a mild winter) please have them COMMENT! We would enjoy any input and insight.